GOD AS PARENT, LISTENER, AUDIENCE, AND READER

To talk and not to be understood, to be speaking a different language, one that you understand and no one else does, to try to explain the unexplainable but to tire out your listener, to speak with words that describe a miraculous phenomena that could happen to anyone, but not to be understood because it is your experience and not the experience of others.

To be an "anointed" one of King David's Lineage and to inherit his poetic life viewpoint, to be living your poetry as you write it. To not be able to have others living it with you so it becomes an experience of yours and yours alone. To try to write about it and describe what you are thinking and feeling, but not to put it into speech because it will just confuse and there will be no one to listen.

To try to get someone to experience what you experience by describing it in detail, but not being able to share an experience. Someone not showing interest in understanding your experiences, turning off and turning down, not holding on, relationships that do not connect.

Not understanding and not wanting to understand. Knowing more than she. Having an upper hand because your experiences are grander than hers. Knowing it is not because she does not care, it is because she cannot comprehend. Knowing more words than her, knowing more languages, knowing more. Understanding that you may want to teach her how to read but she is limited and may not be able to learn, to continue to teach and to try to connect, as she turns you off. To not have the relationship you wish to have.

To instead always to be understood by G-d and have your connections with the living being in a spiritual realm, to be understood when you understand yourself and not need others to understand you. To be independent of others, to have a confidence in all that you do and say and not need to share it.

To write about your experiences and have them be crystal clear in the form of print, to not be talking to someone who is in confusion, to not be turned down or turned off.

To always have G-d as your substitute parent, listener, audience, and reader. Not being in need like the fatherless, motherless, widow, childless, orphan, stranger.

To always have G-d be there and so not to experience a parent/child disconnection. Having G-d as a parent, listener, audience and reader. Asking G-d to be everything you want Him to be.