How not to allow coveting and jealousies over sibling rivalry affect you? Simple, be happy for your siblings and all of their accomplishments, when they are happy and showing off, seeking reward, be proud of them and have an attitude that their accomplishments are also your accomplishments because they are closely related to you and they are therefore a reflection of who you are. Tell yourself that you are not in a war of competition for your parents' affections, that as adult children, there are no more laborious games of chess when your favorite pieces are taken, no more dollies are better than yours, no more fighting to be the one to be bounced up and down on daddy's lap.
Think instead that you are both struggling human beings, two sisters or brothers, who are trying to survive each day as best as you can and that neither of you need another one-upping you, that there is not a competition, not a game, not a fight anymore to be better than the other, to be more beautiful or richer, or more famous, or healthier. Not a time to try to show off all of your accomplishments as rating better than your siblings'.
Instead, take the parental role in the adult relationship with your brother or sister and give them strokes for their successes as your mother and father did, or should have done. Take their portrait photographs and show them off to your friends. Say "Don't we two sisters look alike?" And be proud of the compliments your receive on your siblings from your friends.
Work together with your siblings in a unified fashion, develop a family business and both reap in the income. Encourage one another and do not try to be the greater than the other. Give a little. Give nurturing as if you are a parental substitute for your sibling who may never have received encouragement from either of your original parents. This attitude will save you a lot of distress as the sibling rivalry competition for your mother's love can be diffused simply by giving your sibling the needed love, but on an adult basis--one equal to another.
This unity can bring an end to an otherwise endless battle of childhood negative behaviors that serve to weaken rather than strengthen the family unit. Remember, you are not alone in the world and not standing opposite your brothers and sisters, it is the two of you standing together against the world not the two of you standing separate against each other.
Think instead that you are both struggling human beings, two sisters or brothers, who are trying to survive each day as best as you can and that neither of you need another one-upping you, that there is not a competition, not a game, not a fight anymore to be better than the other, to be more beautiful or richer, or more famous, or healthier. Not a time to try to show off all of your accomplishments as rating better than your siblings'.
Instead, take the parental role in the adult relationship with your brother or sister and give them strokes for their successes as your mother and father did, or should have done. Take their portrait photographs and show them off to your friends. Say "Don't we two sisters look alike?" And be proud of the compliments your receive on your siblings from your friends.
Work together with your siblings in a unified fashion, develop a family business and both reap in the income. Encourage one another and do not try to be the greater than the other. Give a little. Give nurturing as if you are a parental substitute for your sibling who may never have received encouragement from either of your original parents. This attitude will save you a lot of distress as the sibling rivalry competition for your mother's love can be diffused simply by giving your sibling the needed love, but on an adult basis--one equal to another.
This unity can bring an end to an otherwise endless battle of childhood negative behaviors that serve to weaken rather than strengthen the family unit. Remember, you are not alone in the world and not standing opposite your brothers and sisters, it is the two of you standing together against the world not the two of you standing separate against each other.
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